In the news - The drunk sheep

A drunken Bavarian who was bleating like a sheep has ended up in jail. The 49-year old man was at home, bleating for up to 20 minutes at a time, in the night from Saturday to Sunday. Called by neighbours, the police tried to reason with the man before arresting him.

Read in: L'Essentiel, Tuesday 5th October 2010, Luxembourg

On the net - Strange introduction

Alixonlune: Hello! We have the same age! What's your shoe size by any chance? 37?

Chamelo13 (thinking it's a funny joke): Hahaha! No, 40. If my shoe size was 37 I might fall when the wind is too strong.

Alixonlune: That means you're slim then? Do you like foot massages?

(Chamelo13 is not sure what to answer to that, so just waits to see what comes next.)

Alixonlune: Apart from that, I like girls with big feet! I know, it's strange... I like them big and slim! Slightly elongated, I think it's beautiful.

(Chamelo13 doesn't feel like answering anymore, even if she might be missing out on a great foot massage...)

Little friends

In the middle of a village celebration, a little girl is sitting in the grass, crying because her mother scolded her.

A friend of hers, a boy a few years older, comes to sit next to her with a plane tree leaf in his hand and starts showing her how to rip the leaf in such a way that only the veins remain. The girl watches, fascinated. When he's done, the boy starts the same trick on another leaf and gives her one to try it as well.

After a while, seeing that the girl is entertained and has stopped crying, the boy leaves, quietly, the way he came.

Beer providence

Coming from a party I left early, I'm standing in the tram with a bottle of beer in one hand, thinking of a way to get rid of it, not wishing to just throw it away either.
At my stop, I get out right in front of a group of guys, most of them passably drunk. One of them talks to me:
- Hi! - he says, clearly having difficulty to keep his eyes open.
- Hello!
- Can I have your beer? - he adds, eyeing my bottle of beer.
- Sure! - I answer cheerfully, handing him the bottle, more than happy to oblige.
As I walk away, he shouts:
- Thanks!
- No problem! - I shout back, thinking to myself that I'm actually the one who should say thanks.

Yoga class

- Lie down on your back, feet slightly apart, palms facing upward.
Ok, all set.
- Relax all your body...
... ...
- Physical body...
Pff... Oups, I shouldn't laugh...
- Equanimity...
Whatever it THAT?
- Your brain is relaxed...
Not while I'm trying to figure out what equanimity means...
- Expansion of the consciousness...
Ok, stop thinking...
- Listen to your breathing...
... ...
- Mental body...
Awww!! I was just managing to stay relaxed...
- Equanimity...
Here it comes again... Ok, whatever it is it must be meant to relax...
- Harmony...
Exactly!
- Physical body...
Yeah... whatever... I'm relaxed *yawn* now... 
- Expansion of the cousciousness...
... ... ...