Maria, look!

Context: In the bus. Behind me, a woman is sitting with a boy and a girl, both around six or seven years old. The children are facing each other.

BOY: Maria, look! She's putting her finger in her nose!!!

MARIA (the woman): That's ok. She can do it. It doesn't matter.

BOY, sounding scandalized: How come I'm not allowed to do it?!

MARIA: Who told you you were not allowed to do it?

BOY: Look! She's doing it again!!! She's putting her finger in her nose!!

GIRL: I do it like this! (I assume the girl makes demonstration.)

BOY, scandalized and disgusted: Look!! She's putting her finger in her nose and eating the bogeys! She's eating the bogeys!!!

From then on, I don't hear the rest, for I can't stop laughing...

Polite conversation

In the bus. A woman comes in with two little girls. The youngest (around four years old) sits next to an old man.

LITTLE GIRL, addressing the old man: Moien!*

OLD MAN, smiles and answers: Moien!

The girls chatter during the journey. When they arrive at their stop, the little girl takes her mother's hand and stands up to leave.

LITTLE GIRL: Äddi!**

No answer. The old man hasn't noticed that she is talking to him.

LITTLE GIRL, turning around, not wanting to leave before she has her answer: Äddi!

Still no answer.

LITTLE GIRL: Äddi! ... Äddi!... Äddi!

People witnessing the scene start smiling.

OLD MAN, finally noticing: Äddi!

Little girl smiles and finally lets her mother take her away.

*Moien = Hello

** Äddi = Bye

Tattoo people

A middle-aged woman with a cute carrot tattoo on her neck, right under her right ear...

Unexpected present

On the train to Zurich I meet Atif, a young Pakistani underwear seller. As we strike up a conversation it turns out that he didn't think of bringing anything to eat on his journey, so I offer him my croissant. After making sure that I already had lunch he accepts it.

Now Atif wants to give me something in return, so he takes his bag, asks what my favourite colour is and goes on a quest for his present for me. When he finds what he has been searching for, looking sheepish, he takes it in his fist, reaches for my hand, puts it in my palm, closes my fingers around it, and asks me not to laugh.

As I open my hand I discover... a g-string... and start laughing uncontrolably at the unexpected surprise.

We've seen better days...

Sitting in a bus, I can vaguely hear the chatter of two old ladies opposite of me, the nice granny type. As I look out the window, I see a couple of sixty year olds with a dog trotting behind them.

What caught my attention was the general picture they gave: two unkept people walking an old little mongrel who looked dirty and had problems walking. The thought crossed my mind that the old saying is right: dogs do resemble their masters.

"Oh boy! This dog has also seen better days!", one of the old, rich looking ladies exclaims.

I couldn't help but wonder if they were referring to the dog alone, to his masters as well, or to themselves...

Would be nice if it was "Feierowend" already...

Sitting on the bench at a bus station, a guy comes up, greets me and sits next to me:

Him: Hi!

Me: Hi! (Look away, hoping to avoid further contact.)

Him: Would be nice if it was "Feierowend" already... ("Feierowend" means the end of a day of work.)

Me, looking at him to make sure he was speaking to me, and since he was:

Yeah, true... (Didn't want to tell him that I'm actually not working at the moment, so it's "Feierowend" for me all the time.)

Him: It's tough as a bus driver...

Me, trying not to be a bitch: Ah... Don't you work eight hours as other people?

Him: Not at all! We work twelve hours! I work from 10 to 22! Of course, we have three hours break inbetween, but what can one do with that?

Me: Ah yes, there's no time to go home, for example... (Making a face to show my compassion for him. Humour the potential crazies, I say. In the meantime the bus arrives and I stand up.)

Him, following: No wonder one is not able to keep a girlfriend in those conditions...

(Me, at this point already heading for the door, hoping that he won't follow, and starting to understand that he was actually trying to hit on me.)

Him, continuing: ...nobody wants a relationship like that!

Luckily, bus drivers in Luxembourg know each other, so as I walk away the guy stays at the front, speaking to the driver.

As I disappear to the back of the bus I hear him saying: Would be nice if it was "Feierowend" already...

Morning melody

It's 7.30 in the morning. You are standing in the tram, heading for work. Around you, people who are also on their way to their jobs, their classes, living their early birds lives... and all sleepy or grumpy, because it's so early, because it's so cold, because they wish they were somewhere else at this moment.

Suddenly, you hear a strange sound: rrrrr... pause... rrrrr... pause... rrrrr... pause...

You look around to locate the source of the snoring and see a middle-aged man, sagged on a seat, somehow crumpled over himself, peacefully sleeping in the middle of the crowded tram.

And you smile. Around you, you see other people smiling to themselves, to each other. The day seems brighter now.

The přibináček killer

Imagine a man, dressed in dark clothes, with a black cap over his greasy hair, emanating a generally unkept air. Now imagine this same man taking out a přibináček, a typical Czech yogurt for children that has these cutesy drawings of a cat on them.
A man eating a children's yogurt is nothing out of the ordinary, I eat these přibináček myself, and just love them. What is more surprising is when you see him doing that inside one of the carriages of a metro.
However, what struck me most was not so much that the guy was eating his yogurt in the metro, but rather that he was doing it with a knife. This, coupled with his general appearance, finished turning him into the character I cannot help but call the přibináček killer.

Peek-a-boo

Has it ever happened to you to be sitting in a tram, minding your own business, looking out the window, at some point lazily gazing around the tram, at the person sitting in front of you and seeing something that should only be seen in private spheres?

Let me make myself clear: By "something that should only be seen in private spheres", I mean what the French poetically call "bijoux de famille" (family jewels), aka a guy's reproductive organs (let's be politically correct, even if the situation is kind of politically incorrect).

No? Never happened to you? You missed out on something!

Peek-a-boo guy here was quite a sight. Imagine a middle-aged man, dark hair, dark moustache, glasses, dressed in a blue shirt and a shorty jeans. A very short one, obviously.

What impressed me most, appart from the unexpected sighting of his private parts, was his totally relaxed attitude. He was just sitting there, reading his newspaper, minding his own business, and airing his family jewels in the process...

Was he aware of the fact that he was putting himself on display like that? Was it maybe intentional? Was he just letting his family jewels have some fresh air? I guess that will always be a mystery to me. Suffice it to say that peek-a-boo guy here left a very strong impression on me...

The good Samaritan

Today, I was sitting in the tram, lost in my thoughts as I usually am. At a busy tram stop, a woman about 50 years old came in, and the man sitting in front of me made a movement to get up to give her his seat. The woman, however, ignored him (probably did not even see him), passed him by and I don't really know if she just sat somewhere else or not, I didn't look.

Now the man in front of me - let's call him the Samaritan - got offended, grumbling to himself, looking at the woman like saying: "I'm trying to help you here, but you won't let me!"

The story does not end here, though.

Sitting in front of him was a woman, and apparently she had something on the back of her shirt. The man, always the perfect boyscout, tipped her on the shoulder, trying to make her understand that she had something on her back and that he wanted to remove it. Let's pass the horrified look on the woman's face, another story of its own, and focus on the righteous indignation of the man when she refused his help. Grumble, grumble again.

Mr Samaritan, however, did not get discouraged from his task of finding someone to help, saving his or her day, and kept watch at every tram stop for potential people in need, until he got off the tram, unsuccessful in his search for an unspoken SOS call.

I couldn't help but wonder how someone develops such a huge "superhero complex", insisting in assisting people who don't ask for any help. And more: I couldn't stop wondering if these intentions came from a genuine wish to help or from a simple need to feel good about himself.

Am I being too cynical here?