Tuesday 13 December 2011

Women and Hobbies

Office Macho's latest statement:

"Women have no hobbies!"
This said in an office with a majority of women, Office Macho goes on, adding:
"They only think of shoes and clothes and reading women's magazines. They don't have any real hobbies or passions."
Office Macho just doesn't know when to stop talking...

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Since I don't have enough material to write these posts here on a regular basis, I am going to continue them occasionally as they come on my other blog. Do pop by for a visit if you feel like it!

Saturday 14 May 2011

In pictures - The make-up artist


Picture taken in Budisovice, Czech Republic, 2008

Wednesday 20 April 2011

Maria, look!

Context: In the bus. Behind me, a woman is sitting with a boy and a girl, both around six or seven years old. The children are facing each other.

BOY: Maria, look! She's putting her finger in her nose!!!
MARIA (the woman): That's ok. She can do it. It doesn't matter.
BOY, sounding scandalized: How come I'm not allowed to do it?!
MARIA: Who told you you were not allowed to do it?
BOY: Look! She's doing it again!!! She's putting her finger in her nose!!
GIRL: I do it like this! (I assume the girl makes demonstration.)
BOY, scandalized and disgusted: Look!! She's putting her finger in her nose and eating the bogeys! She's eating the bogeys!!!

From then on, I don't hear the rest, for I can't stop laughing...

Friday 15 April 2011

In pictures - Le Charlot des rues

There are times when images speak louder than words. Over the years I have been taking pictures of people I see and situations I witness that I find interesting or simply beautyful. I have decided that I will post some of them here from time to time. They are images that show things that, were I a bit better with words, I would probably have written a post on them. I hope you enjoy looking at them as much as I enjoyed taking them.


I like to call this one the Street Tramp. I guess it's a bit redundant, but in French it sounds better: 'Le Charlot des rues'. I took it in Strasbourg in 2006.

Thursday 14 April 2011

Polite conversation

In the bus. A woman comes in with two little girls. The youngest (around four years old) sits next to an old man.

LITTLE GIRL, addressing the old man: Moien!*
OLD MAN, smiles and answers: Moien!

The girls chatter during the journey. When they arrive at their stop, the little girl takes her mother's hand and stands up to leave.

LITTLE GIRL: Äddi!**

No answer. The old man hasn't noticed that she is talking to him.

LITTLE GIRL, turning around, not wanting to leave before she has her answer: Äddi!

Still no answer.

LITTLE GIRL: Äddi! ... Äddi!... Äddi!

People witnessing the scene start smiling.

OLD MAN, finally noticing: Äddi!

Little girl smiles and finally lets her mother take her away.

*Moien = Hello
** Äddi = Bye

Thursday 24 March 2011

In the news - The drunk sheep

A drunken Bavarian who was bleating like a sheep has ended up in jail. The 49-year old man was at home, bleating for up to 20 minutes at a time, in the night from Saturday to Sunday. Called by neighbours, the police tried to reason with the man before arresting him.

Read in: L'Essentiel, Tuesday 5th October 2010, Luxembourg

Monday 14 March 2011

On the net - Strange introduction

Alixonlune: Hello! We have the same age! What's your shoe size by any chance? 37?

Chamelo13 (thinking it's a funny joke): Hahaha! No, 40. If my shoe size was 37 I might fall when the wind is too strong.

Alixonlune: That means you're slim then? Do you like foot massages?

(Chamelo13 is not sure what to answer to that, so just waits to see what comes next.)

Alixonlune: Apart from that, I like girls with big feet! I know, it's strange... I like them big and slim! Slightly elongated, I think it's beautiful.

(Chamelo13 doesn't feel like answering anymore, even if she might be missing out on a great foot massage...)

Friday 11 March 2011

Little friends

In the middle of a village celebration, a little girl is sitting in the grass, crying because her mother scolded her.
A friend of hers, a boy a few years older, comes to sit next to her with a plane tree leaf in his hand and starts showing her how to rip the leaf in such a way that only the veins remain. The girl watches, fascinated. When he's done, the boy starts the same trick on another leaf and gives her one to try it as well.
After a while, seeing that the girl is entertained and has stopped crying, the boy leaves, quietly, the way he came.

Monday 7 March 2011

Beer providence

Coming from a party I left early, I'm standing in the tram with a bottle of beer in one hand, thinking of a way to get rid of it, not wishing to just throw it away either.
At my stop, I get out right in front of a group of guys, most of them passably drunk. One of them talks to me:
- Hi! - he says, clearly having difficulty to keep his eyes open.
- Hello!
- Can I have your beer? - he adds, eyeing my bottle of beer.
- Sure! - I answer cheerfully, handing him the bottle, more than happy to oblige.
As I walk away, he shouts:
- Thanks!
- No problem! - I shout back, thinking to myself that I'm actually the one who should say thanks.

Wednesday 2 March 2011

Yoga class

- Lie down on your back, feet slightly apart, palms facing upward.
Ok, all set.
- Relax all your body...
... ...
- Physical body...
Pff... Oups, I shouldn't laugh...
- Equanimity...
Whatever it THAT?
- Your brain is relaxed...
Not while I'm trying to figure out what equanimity means...
- Expansion of the consciousness...
Ok, stop thinking...
- Listen to your breathing...
... ...
- Mental body...
Awww!! I was just managing to stay relaxed...
- Equanimity...
Here it comes again... Ok, whatever it is it must be meant to relax...
- Harmony...
Exactly!
- Physical body...
Yeah... whatever... I'm relaxed *yawn* now... 
- Expansion of the cousciousness...
... ... ... 

Monday 28 February 2011

Little car finds big parking spot

Little car finds big parking spot
Little car starts to make its moves to get settled in big parking spot
Unfortunately, little car is a bit clumsy, so little car is having serious trouble settling in huge parking spot
Turning tires right... advancing a bit... turning tires left... rolling backwards...
Advancing... left... backwards... right... reversing...
Little car is just getting ready for one final herculean move...
... when big car in front drives away from its parking spot
So little car, exhausted and maybe a little bit exasperated, finally settles in even bigger parking spot

Saturday 26 February 2011

Morning swim

It's Saturday morning, probably around 8:20 a.m. or close to that. Still half asleep but already in the swimming pool, swimming away...

- Moien, Joffer! Wéi geet ët?* - booms a loud voice.
Squinting at the middle-aged man who addressed me like that - as if I even needed to see him to recognise him - I answer:
- Moien, Eugène! Gudd, an dir?** 
- Gudd, gudd! Hohohoho! - Eugene goes, with his big, uncontrollable bomb of a laugher.

Swim... up the pool... swim... down the pool... swim, swim, swim...

HOHOHOHO! - echoes from somewhere in the room. 

No, no need for me to see whose laughter this is. I smile to myself and swim some more.


* Good morning, Miss! How are you?
** Good morning, Eugene! I'm good, and you?

Friday 25 February 2011

Defining priorities

On the way home, some tourists, a Russian sounding couple, ask me for directions:

HER: Excuse me, where is the centre? We do not have a lot of time, where is the best to go to see the city?

ME: Well, that way, you have the main squares and the streets with all the expensive shops... And that way you can go to a part that is older, nicer to have a walk, enjoy...

HER, interrupting me: Nono, we go that way! (meaning the other way) Thank you!

Everyone's idea of discovering a new city is different...